BE YOURSELF — Learning to safely step out from the mask, step outside societal norms, and step into the freedom of embracing neurodivergence

Masking is a technique neurodivergent people use to present themselves in a way that is more comfortable for others around them.

Many people can relate to the experience of closely monitoring and changing their behavior in certain settings–for example, the office jokester may deliberately present as a cool and calm employee when meeting the new boss. However, this self-monitoring, known in the autistic community as “masking,” is much more ingrained in neurodivergent people (those with neurotypes seen as different than the “norm,” such as autistics or those with ADHD), leading many to suppress their identities and traits to survive in a world designed for neurotypicals.

In order to “pass” as a neurotypical person, neurodivergents may mask by suppressing soothing behaviors like stimming, mimicking others’ speech and behaviors, and developing scripts to get through social situations. (To learn more about masking, check out part 1 of our “Unmasking” series here.) While some self-monitoring can be adaptive to help humans connect and form community, masking one’s neurodivergent traits and behaviors has been shown to carry extreme costs, including depression, self-harm, feeling disconnected from one’s identity, and suicide.

With such severe costs, neurotypical people may ask why neurodivergents do not simply “be themselves” and “take off their masks,” not recognizing this as a complex, risky, and often confusing endeavor. Read on for part two of our three-part series on unmasking to learn more about how masks develop, the potential costs of unmasking, and the freedom that unmasking can bring.

HOW MASKS DEVELOP

Many neurodivergent people learn growing up that it is safest for them to hide or disguise their neurodivergent traits in order to appear neurotypical. As Autistic Speech and Language Therapist Emily Price describes, “Masking is a trauma response and a way for the Autistic person to self-protect… Many Autistic people have been conditioned to feel like they have to mask due to repeated past experiences of social trauma caused by bullying and social rejection.” Masking may also be taught, such as in behavioral education programs seeking to “extinguish neurodivergent behaviors,” and learned implicitly through observing how others interact around them and in the media. Autistic blogger Katie from Weird Sensitive Creatures describes her own experience as a child who learned to mask her neurodiversity. "Autistics are really good at recognizing patterns…and deep down, even as undiagnosed autistic children, we know we’re different. Desperate to fit in however we can, we learn to watch others and copy what they do."

Masking often continues through a neurodivergent person’s life, and continues to be reinforced as they encounter societal institutions and systems. In an NIH study comparing masking experiences in the workplace, neurodivergent participants reported feeling pressured to mask to avoid the threat of negative social and employment outcomes given the limited understanding of neurodiversity in workplaces and society in general. Masking is used to avoid discrimination in the health care system, with some neurodivergents receiving low-quality care due to lack of knowledge or negative beliefs about neurodivergent people. Masking is also used in the educational system to avoid being denied internship placements or other opportunities once a diagnosis is disclosed.

Masking can be especially ingrained for members of the global majority, including women and people of color, as well as those who are transgender or gender diverse. Women have been found to mask more frequently and for longer durations throughout their lives, leading to significant strain. Black autistics like 23-year-old Elijah McClain have lost their lives at the hands of police officers due to systemic racism and ableism, with many autistic people of color making intentional choices to mask in public. Some Black autistics describe having to develop separate masks for interacting with white and with Black neurotypicals, with code switching adding other layers of complexity. And just this year, multiple states have proposed legislation that questioned whether transgender, neurodivergent youth should be able to access gender-affirming care, giving the message that their openly neurodivergent traits make them incapable of making decisions about their gender.

For these reasons and more, masking in certain settings remains crucial for many neurodivergents to stay safe socially, physically, and financially. And yet suppressing one’s authentic, neurodivergent self is directly associated with depression, anxiety, shame, PTSD, feeling disconnected from one’s identity, and increased suicidal thoughts and behaviors. With masking and not masking each presenting their own risks, neurodivergent people may feel at a crossroads of knowing how to best support themselves.

THE BENEFITS OF MINDFUL UNMASKING

Some neurodivergent people have navigated this crossroads by reflecting on the settings in their lives and the people with whom they may feel safe to be their full, authentic selves. Though some masking may continue to be necessary to avoid discrimination in certain settings, a neurodivergent person may find that they can cope better with the strain and get relief by having consistent, safe spaces to unmask.

Unmasking looks different for every neurodivergent person, and is highly dependent on one’s level of privilege and environment. For example, a straight, white, cisgender man may be able to unmask at his neurodiversity affirming workplace, and may not face as significant of a threat to his safety due to his privilege and environment. In contrast, a Black autistic woman may need to mask at work due to avoid being seen as “aggressive” or “superior,” judgments that can lead to her losing her job. She may instead need to seek out supportive friends and family and find spaces for neurodivergents to gather in order to safely unmask. The process of determining when and how to unmask is often complex, with neurodivergent people having to reflect on who they are under the mask and what it even looks like for all or part of the mask to come off.

Reflecting on these areas and finding spaces in which one feels they can express their authentic self can be freeing, helping to unlearn the shame associated with suppressing oneself. Those who have found these spaces to unmask can feel their passion come alive again by allowing themselves to lean in fully to their intense interests, feel more comfortable in their space by adjusting the layout of their home to fit their individual needs, and make authentic connections with others who get to know the “real them.” If a neurodivergent person feels safe to reveal their diagnosis at their workplace or educational setting, they can increase their self-advocacy, working with staff to identify accommodations to meet their unique needs. Most importantly, those who find safe spaces to unmask may lower the personal costs associated with masking, finding themselves feeling less fatigued, with improved mental health, and with a sense of knowing oneself again.

In our next and final addition to our series on masking, we will be diving further into the process of unmasking, discussing how neurodivergents can come to find value in the person underneath the mask and find spaces to show their authentic selves.

REFERENCES

Anti-trans laws are targeting autistic youth and those with mental health conditions. Rummler, Orion & Luterman, Sara. The 19th News. May 30, 2023. https://19thnews.org/2023/05/trans-laws-autistic-youth-mental-health/

Autism, Discrimination and Masking: Disrupting a Recipe for Trauma. Cleary, M., West, S., Kornhaber, R., & Hungerford, C. Issues in Mental Health Nursing. August 24, 2023. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01612840.2023.2239916

Autistic people and masking. Belcher, Hannah. National Autistic Society. July 7, 2022. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-masking

‘Autistic while black’: How autism amplifies stereotypes. Burkett, Catina. Spectrum News. January 21, 2020. https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/viewpoint/autistic-while-black-how-autism-amplifies-stereotypes/

Autistic While Black in the UK: Masking, Codeswitching, and Other (Non)fictions. Ventour-Griffiths, Tré. Neuroclastic. April 28, 2022. https://neuroclastic.com/long-read-autistic-while-black-in-the-uk-masking-codeswitching-and-other-nonfictions/

Here’s What You Need to Know About Elijah McClain’s Death. Tompkins, Lucy. The New York Times. October 13, 2023. https://www.nytimes.com/article/who-was-elijah-mcclain.html

How "unmasking" leads to freedom for autistic and other neurodivergent people. Garcia, Eric & Keane, Meghan. NPR. April 18, 2022. https://www.npr.org/2022/04/14/1092869514/unmasking-autism-more-inclusive-world

Masking and mental health implications. Fede, Jacquelyn & Laurent, Amy. Neuroclastic. October 5, 2020. https://neuroclastic.com/masking-and-mental-health-implications/

Masking: "Putting on my best normal." Price, Emily. 2023. https://www.autisticslt.com/masking

Risk markers for suicidality in autistic adults. Cassidy, S., Bradley, L., Shaw, R. et al. Molecular Autism. July 31, 2018. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13229-018-0226-4

The workplace masking experiences of autistic, non-autistic neurodivergent and neurotypical adults in the UK. Pryke-Hobbes, A., Davies, J., Heasman, B., Livesey, A., Walker, A., Pellicano, E., & Remington, A. PLoS One. September 6, 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10482295/

Unmasked: Autism Openness and Its Impact on Self-Advocacy in Daily Life. Walsh, Christopher. Brown University School of Public Health Magazine. August 1, 2022. https://brownpublichealthmagazine.org/2022/08/self-advocacy/

What is autistic masking and what does it look like? Weird Sensitive Creatures. May 4, 2020. https://weirdsensitivecreatures.com/?p=1022