The SC Blog: New Essays every Month
All essays found here were written by Starobin Counseling staff.
Intelligence? Lots, and none of it’s artificial!
“You’re Not Hearing Me!” Why We Feel Unheard and Unseen in our Relationships
When a loved one learns you can't tolerate their hard feelings, the hard feelings don’t stop. They just stop bringing them to you. Valerie Kolick, LGPC breaks down four reactions that feel like love but land like rejection, then explains how learning to “hold space” can rebuild intimacy & trust.
The Ongoing Journey to Self-Love
In this blog, Melissa Hinton, LCSW-C explains that self-love isn’t a destination, it’s a practice. Practice staying curious about whether our inner voice is reflecting our own values. Practice in self-compassion and accepting imperfections. Practice remembering that our worth is never conditional.
Building a Strong Marriage While Blending Families
Falling in love is shared between two people…but marriage connects much larger relational networks. When wedding planning highlights family differences, each one can feel like a problem to solve. Dr. Rikia Ancar views differences as opportunities to intentionally create a shared family culture.
Couple’s Intensives: Trendy or Transformative?
One of the most painful experiences? Disconnection from the one person you need to choose you every day. A couples therapist gets honest about the rise of Couple’s Intensives: what they are, who they're for, and whether transformation can actually happen in a weekend.
Wired to Feel Everything: Dating, Intensity, Rejection & Connection
Dating with a differently wired brain (due to neurodivergence, trauma or both) is a different experience. A good first date can spiral into intense affection. A slow text reply can feel like rejection. Eva Crawford, LCSW-C, explains what’s happening in your brain & nervous system and how to manage.
Parenting from the Inside Out: How Parenting our Own Inner Child Helps us Parent Our Actual Children
Parenting isn’t just about what we do - it’s about what’s happening inside us. Jacqi Trombley, LCSW-C, describes how understanding our internal “parts” and healing our inner child helps us show up with more calm, compassion, and connection, making parenting feel less overwhelming and more authentic.
Do You Deserve Compassion? Yes, and You Can Give it To Yourself. Here’s How:
Suffering is part of life. When someone else is struggling we offer kindness and grace. But when it’s our own pain, the voice inside sharpens. The harshest judgment we face is our own. Melissa Hinton, LCSW-C’s blog offers an alternative path when faced with adversity and pain: self-compassion.
“No” and Other Accommodations
Humans have an astonishing ability to solve problems. We unconsciously adopt workarounds and quirks that allow us to move through the world with more ease. But even when we’re following our intuition there’s value in stepping back to get curious about the accommodations we’ve created for ourselves.
Why Repair Is The Missing Skill Your Relationship Needs
When conflict hits, it’s possible to stop the three-hour postgame, the rug-sweep, and the cold silence. Certified Relationship Coach Valerie Kolick, MA, explains how to use Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT) 4-step Feedback Wheel to repair and reconnect in minutes.
Staying Grounded in Divided Spaces: Navigating Polarization in Professional Settings
This month’s blog - a continuation of November’s Curiosity as the Bridge - explores what moral injury looks like in professional settings, why neurodivergent individuals often feel it more intensely, and how to stay grounded and aligned with yourself in environments that feel divided.