“How Do You Take a Break From Life?” — Coping with Autistic Burnout

Some days the world is just TOO MUCH!

Every day, autistic people of all ages experience autistic burnout. Overwhelmed, distressed, and exhausted, an autistic person might isolate themselves and appear frozen, unable to resume the routine tasks they had been able to complete just days before. Parents may be bewildered, urging their child to get out of bed and off to school, only to be met with distress, silence, or refusal. This is not laziness or procrastination, but a legitimate physical, mental, and emotional experience called autistic burnout.

What is Autistic Burnout?

Autistic burnout is often defined by the autistic community as a "state of incapacitation, exhaustion, and distress in every area of life." This burnout can greatly limit an autistic person's ability to meet school or work demands, maintain relationships, take care of hygiene and daily needs, and maintain a satisfying quality of life. Autistic burnout can also make one especially sensitive to stimulus, which could make things like bright lights, loud noises, or coarse fabrics feel completely overwhelming and distressing.

Allistic (non-autistic) people may wonder how autistic burnout is different from the commonly discussed burnout that can accompany working a stressful job. Occupational burnout can also be highly distressing, leading to exhaustion, decreased motivation, lowered performance, and overwhelm when faced with even simple tasks. 

Occupational burnout is caused by a collection of work-related stressors. In contrast, autistic burnout is caused by a collection of stressors related to the neurological demands of life in a world that is designed to accommodate the neuro-type seen as the cultural norm—what is often referred to as "neurotypical." Autistic burnout is associated with living in a world not designed to accommodate or accept the differences of autistic people, leading many to "mask," or suppress, their autistic traits. Moving through the world by pretending to be someone one is not and trying to meet unreachable societal expectations can lead an autistic person to reach a breaking point—a point where autistic burnout ignites. Autistic burnout also differs from occupational burnout because autistic traits can amplify the prolonged stress that can be experienced from burnout. While an allistic person may still be able to speak, complete basic hygiene tasks, and retain some short-term memory amid occupational burnout, those suffering from autistic burnout may lose these abilities until they recover.

Recovery From Autistic Burnout

While recovery from autistic burnout is possible, there is no quick fix. Autistic burnout often results from an accumulation of disappointing, confining, and debilitating life experiences, all of which make autistic burnout a complex condition. However, many autistic people have found ways to not only recover from burnout, but to take steps with the hope of preventing or reducing burnout in the future.

One important aspect of autistic burnout recovery is finding safe ways to lean into one's autistic traits. Since masking one's traits can often lead to burnout, finding a safe space to allow oneself to do things like stim and get absorbed in intense or special interests can be much needed and emotionally regulating. Masking is a complex topic, with many unsure of when and how they mask, and may even struggle to know what unmasking even looks like. However, those who are able to recognize that they keep themselves from hand flapping in public or from recounting their encyclopedic knowledge of World War II may find relief in allowing themselves these pleasures within environments they find safe, such as at home or in trusted communities. Getting quality rest, reducing distressing sensory input, and engaging in soothing and fulfilling hobbies also promote recovery.

Those struggling with autistic burnout may choose to limit their contact with others as they recover, as differences in socializing may have contributed to their burnout developing. However, many might also find value in seeking out social connection with other autistic people who understand their experiences, such as by finding community through social media with hashtags like #actuallyautistic and #autisticburnout. 

Loved ones of those experiencing autistic burnout can also show support by offering empathy and validation of their experience, and explore the expectations they may be placing upon the affected person. Usual expectations like completing chores or running errands may feel incredibly daunting to a person experiencing burnout, and they may need to be given a break period of having few, if any, expectations placed upon them as they recover. While loved ones may protest having to take on extra responsibilities, having the space to truly rest and detach from meeting others’ needs can help those struggling to recover more quickly.

As they move along in recovery, an autistic person may also take time to consider aspects of their lives that need to be adjusted as they are ultimately unsustainable. For example, an autistic person may recognize that they often find themselves people pleasing, limiting stimming outside the home, and trying hard to socialize to accommodate neurotypical cultural norms and realize that these behaviors have been wearing them down. They might then seek out environments where there is safety to advocate for their needs and engage in behaviors they would normally hide, such as stimming with a fidget toy at an accepting workplace or speaking up to address a misunderstanding among friends who are allies of neurodiversity.

Autistic burnout is a complex, debilitating, and distressing condition that many autistic people experience, but do not need to struggle with alone. If you or a loved one are seeking support in recovering from autistic burnout, we encourage you to reach out to our therapists using our contact us form.

References

Autistic burnout: Defining, measuring, and understanding with Dr. Dora Raymaker. NJ Autism Center of Excellence. November 19, 2020 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFixaliygnA&t=475s

Autistic burnout recovery: How to build a recovery plan. Neff, Dr. Megan Anna. Neurodivergent insights. December 28, 2022. https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/autistic-burnout-recovery

The battery's dead: Burnout looks different in autistic adults. Winegarner, Beth. The New York Times. September 3, 2021. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/03/well/live/autistic-burnout-advice.html

Understanding autistic burnout. Raymaker, Dr. Dora. National Autistic Society. March 1, 2022. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout