Mindfulness Part II: Psychological Flexibility- Your Mind Can Be as Flexible as a Yoga Guru

A lone tree bent by the power of a stormy wind.

Imagine you’re a tree. No, seriously, stay with me. You’re a big, strong oak tree, deeply rooted in the ground, branches swaying in the wind. Life throws storms at you—stress at work, relationship troubles, illness, horrific DMV traffic, or society doing what it does best and telling you there’s something wrong with you—literally with all of us *eye roll*. Yet, despite the storms, you bend, you sway, but you don’t break. As music artist P!nk wisely sings, "We're not broken, just bent.” (If you don’t know who P!nk is, look her up…no really…right now).  This is what psychological flexibility is all about. It’s our ability to stay grounded while bending with life’s challenges. It’s not about avoiding the storm but learning how to weather it.

Psychological flexibility is the superhero of mental health tools, and mindfulness is its secret weapon. Think of mindfulness as your superpower—as outlined in part 1 of this series, it's all about being present, fully engaged in the here and now, without getting tangled up in the chaos of our thoughts and emotions. It’s like turning down the volume on those worries and emotions so they become background noise, allowing you to appreciate the moment, even if it’s just the feel of warm sunlight on your face or the sound of your favorite song.

Why does psychological flexibility matter? Life is completely and utterly unpredictable. Change is the only constant in life. No amount of planning or worrying can control everything that happens to us - I know, so frustrating, particularly for us anxious folks! What we can control is our response. When we’re psychologically flexible, we can adapt to change, cope with stress, and make choices that align with our values, even in tough times. It’s about responding to life’s curveballs with resilience and clarity, rather than with automatic, often unhelpful reactions. This involves expanding our behavioral repertoire. We usually have one or two ways of responding to stressors, but psychological flexibility helps us find new and different ways to respond that are more aligned with our values.

Being present is crucial for psychological flexibility. To be flexible, we need to be aware of what is happening around us in the present moment. Instead of becoming Alice in Wonderland and following the rabbit down the hole in thinking about the past or worrying about the future, flexible people center themselves in the here and now. Dwelling on the past or focusing on the future often means concentrating on things out of our control, and reacting impulsively can lead to decisions that are not based on our values, beliefs, and goals.

Openness is another key component. Flexibility requires us to be open to new experiences and perspectives. Rather than staying stuck in unhelpful patterns, being flexible allows us to view situations in novel ways and make necessary adjustments. Acceptance also plays a role in staying psychologically flexible. It involves tolerating a range of emotions, even those that are difficult. Instead of suppressing or avoiding these feelings, flexible people accept their emotions, acknowledge them, and look for ways to grow from what they’ve learned.

Have you ever thought, I’ve got a personal trainer for my body; man, I wish there was one for my mind? Enter Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is like the personal trainer for your mind, helping you build that psychological flexibility muscle. Mindfulness is one of the exercises your “personal mind trainer” will have you do.  At its core, ACT encourages you to accept what’s out of your control and commit to actions that improve your life. It’s about embracing your thoughts and feelings rather than fighting them, and using mindfulness to stay connected to the present moment. By doing so, you can break free from old patterns and start living a life that’s rich, full, and meaningful.

So, if this idea of psychological flexibility speaks to you, and you’re on the lookout for a therapist, consider finding one who practices ACT. They can guide you on this journey of becoming more mindful and flexible, helping you navigate life’s harsh storms with resilience and strength. Because, let’s face it, we all need a little help staying grounded while tornados erupt around us (literally, because one was right by our office a few weeks ago!). 

References & Reading suggestions: 

Harris, R. (2008). The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. Trumpeter.

Hayes, S. C. (2019). A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters. Avery.