Think It’s 2024? Your Brain Begs to Differ.

Our brains had a pretty simple job when wooly mammoths were still around: don’t get eaten. We’re still wired to watch for predators, but in modern times that behavior looks a lot like anxiety.

The other night I was lying awake with a racing heart, worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, cursing my caveman ancestors for my plight. I tried to tell my brain that sabertooth tigers aren’t real and I’m under no actual survival threat.  Sigh. It’s useless.

Our brains are wired for survival, and by "wired," I mean they haven’t had a serious software update in about 40,000 years. Back in the day, when wooly mammoths were a legitimate concern, our brains had a pretty simple job: Don’t get eaten. This job required us to stay hyper-aware of any and all potential dangers—whether it was a saber-toothed tiger lurking in the bushes or something as basic as making sure we had enough food for the day.

Fast forward to 2024. The saber tooth tigers are gone, but that hyper-awareness? Still here. That’s why even though we no longer have to dodge wild animals, our brains keep looking for threats. What does this mean for us today? It means we freak out about deadlines, awkward social interactions, and whether or not we're liked. Anxiety is essentially the modern version of scanning the horizon for predators, except now the predator is your boss asking for a last-minute report.

Can you even imagine a world where you currently had a FLIP phone from 2008, couldn’t search the internet, can’t text your friends without pressing each KEYPAD three times - yes I got so good at this I could do it without looking or counting - let alone zero access to social media. Gasp! The horror! Well, this is like our brains:  still stuck in the simplest version, not at all up to date in the context of the current world.  It’s equally frustrating and significantly unhelpful, except for cases of emergencies.  That flip phone is basically only designed for emergencies. And so is our brain. Our brain is ON IT with actual survival or trauma situations.

Anxiety: A Misfiring Survival Mechanism

Here’s a different metaphor: imagine your brain as a car alarm, one of those ultra-sensitive ones that goes off if the wind blows too hard. Back when our ancestors needed to avoid predators, that high-alert system was crucial for survival. Now? Not so much. The amygdala—the part of your brain that handles fear—sets off alarms at the slightest hint of uncertainty, whether it's an overdue email or a weird look from someone in a meeting.

Lisa Feldman Barrett’s research in neuroscience has shown that our brain is constantly making predictions about what might happen based on past experiences.  Otherwise known as our learning history.  So, when your brain senses uncertainty, it draws on those past "danger" signals—even if the current situation is totally different. The caveman brain isn’t interested in nuance; it just wants to keep you safe, and sometimes that means being emotionally activated by objectively harmless situations. This is why using logic and reason simply does NOT work - at least in the long term. Our survival brain does not care for logic or reason, if the threat feels real, then it’s real in your body.

Tribal Mode: Why Fitting In Feels So Important

Our caveman brain doesn’t just worry about survival from predators. It also evolved to keep us in a tribe because, back then, being alone was a death sentence- actually. Fitting in wasn’t just about social comfort; it was about survival. If you weren’t part of the group, your chances of making it out there on your own were slim. This is where our deep-rooted fear of rejection comes from.

In today’s world, the "tribe" might be your group of friends, coworkers, or even social media followers. The pressure to fit in, to be liked, and to avoid rejection still carries that ancient weight. Our brain is stuck in tribal mode, convinced that not being accepted could lead to being left out in the cold—literally. This is why social anxiety feels so intense, and why the thought of not fitting in can trigger those same survival mechanisms. Shameless plug for a next possible blog - how social media has caused an “Anxious Generation.” I highly recommend reading that book.

What Can We Do About It?

Understanding that we’re working with an outdated survival system helps us cut ourselves some slack. You’re not broken; you’re human. Our brains are just running on ancient software in a modern world. We’re all dragging around a nervous system that evolved to keep us alive, but in today’s world, it's working overtime for no reason.

This is where mindfulness comes in. (You knew I was going to say that, right?) By slowing down and observing our thoughts, we can start to tell the difference between actual danger and when perhaps our learning history is showing up - meaning the context of the now doesn’t quite fit the context of the past. Use compassion on yourself here. “It makes complete sense, given my past experience that I would feel this way.  And this situation is not that situation.”  

Mindfulness is not necessarily always the answer.  There are some other ways to raise consciousness around the present moment in order to recognize when to give yourself compassion and space from your thoughts.  The other ways can be accessed and explored when you work with a skilled ACT, DBT or Mindfulness based therapist.

A Final Note:  How Does This Fit for the Neurodivergent Brain?

A neurodivergent brain operates differently from a neurotypical one, with unique strengths and challenges in areas like sensory processing, executive function, and social communication. Anxiety, particularly social anxiety, can hit harder for neurodivergent individuals due to this complex mix of factors. Their brains’ wiring for social-communication differences, layered with executive functioning and sensory sensitivities, can make emotion regulation feel like an uphill battle. Experiences of trauma, often rooted in early social rejection, amplify this.

The brain’s need to belong is universal, but for neurodivergent people, finding a "tribe" isn’t always easy. When their brain’s alarm bells sound off, signaling "you don’t fit in," it triggers a cascade of anxiety. Mindfulness, ACT, and DBT—when practiced with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist—can help calm this overactive system. With the right support, neurodivergent individuals can learn to navigate their unique minds and develop self-regulation skills tailored to their experience.

*** This article is written on the basis of modern day anxiety and not about when people are experiencing traumatic situations in the present moment.  Traumatic situations are actual survival situations in which our “ancient” brain is very effective.  If you have had an experience with trauma and want to further explore neuroscience and how to heal, please reach out to a therapist specializing in trauma.***

References:

Barrett, L. F. (2020). Seven And A Half Lessons About the Brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.  This book provides an accessible yet insightful exploration of how the brain works, challenging common myths and explaining how our brains construct reality through predictions and past experiences.

LeDoux, J. E. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster.  LeDoux explores how the brain processes emotions, particularly fear and anxiety, offering an in-depth look at how the amygdala and other structures contribute to our emotional responses.

Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. Holt Paperbacks.  Sapolsky discusses how stress affects the brain and body, focusing on the evolutionary origins of anxiety and stress-related disorders, making complex neuroscience accessible and relatable